ORLANDO, FL — What began as a magical family vacation quickly turned tense Tuesday after a local mother reportedly asked her husband to “please, for the love of all that is holy, look up from your phone and watch your children make memories,” while he attempted to spin his 47th PokéStop of the morning.
According to firsthand accounts, the family had spent approximately $8,000 on flights, resort accommodations, park tickets, dining reservations, matching shirts, bubble wands, emergency sunscreen, and one inexplicably expensive pair of child-sized mouse ears. However, despite this carefully financed once-in-a-childhood experience, Dad remained locked in on what he described as “a crazy cluster of stops in Galaxy’s Edge”
“They are only this little once,” Mom was overheard saying near the hub, pointing toward the children, who were joyfully waving at a parade float. “You are missing it.” Dad reportedly nodded, smiled, and replied, “Totally, whatever you want to do, Misty.” while attempting to catch what sources later confirmed was a fairly average Pidgey. Mom confirmed that her name is not Misty.
The situation escalated when the family stopped for a castle photo and Dad asked everyone to “hold on one second” because there was “a raid starting right here.” By the time he looked up, the children had eaten their first Mickey Bar, asked their mother whether Daddy was “working” and the youngest child had taken their first steps to toddle over to Mickey Mouse at a meet and greet.
At press time, Mom had taken both children to ride Alien Swirling Saucers while Dad remained near a trash can outside Slinky Dog Dash insisting he would catch up “right after this,” because there were “seriously so many PokéStops here it would be irresponsible not to take advantage.”
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